Like germs.
Fibromyalgia is an auto-immune disorder. Psoriasis is an auto-immune disorder. I have no idea what the arthritis part of it is, but probably the same.
I’ve been remiss in my posting. I’ve had what I thought was a cold, turned into a flu like bug thing (add fever, vomiting, and diarrhea and stir).
On the one hand, it’s forced me to rest more; on the other, the clients are a little peeved, especially one in particular who expected me, when I took on a new project for him, to add it to what I was already doing for him instead of replacing what I do for him, whereupon I got sick and did nothing at all for 3 days. Tomorrow I get to play catch-up.
This is one of the things about chronic illness that’s difficult. You have to fight for the space to do just what you can, to give yourself a little room to grow, but to also be sure that no one is expecting more from you than you can give–but anyone who does not have a chronic illness can’t seem to help but expect more.
I do about 15 hours a week for this client in particular. He wants a new software program. I told him I could write it, enough so that he could have a shell, anyway, to which we would add more functionality and so on after he decided he liked the basic structure, in about 3 weeks. He thought that was just peachy. And then he started loading me with other projects. I was confused, and then I got a little angry, and then I finally asked him what was going on.
He let me know in no uncertain terms that I had to finish the program in the time I’d quoted because he was already telling his clients he was going to have it by then. AND I would have to continue doing everything else I do for him because he had to have it done. I asked him if he understood that, if I work a 20 hour week I will have to rest the next week. Yes, he understood that. I asked him if he understood that the software would take about 20 hours a week but that I was trying to push myself for him to have it in the time he requested. Yes, he understood that too. So, where did we end up? “You have to do the stuff you always do for me. I need it. You have to have the software done. I’ve already begun selling it.”
We ended up with me a little angry and a little confused. And then I got sick and took 3 days off. I have no idea if I can finish any of it in the time he’s given me. I’m going to try, and then I’m going to be wrecked for several days after. I know it. He knows it. He just doesn’t actually KNOW it.
I could, I suppose, go thump him upside the head, thwack the back of his neck and his lower spine, stab pins into his knees, ankles, feet, wrists, and ankles, wrap rags around his feet and his fingers, and then tenderize the muscles of his back and legs, and then he’d KNOW know. Unfortunately, then I wouldn’t have a client and I really can’t afford that.
At least being sick has meant that I’ve taken a nap every day without feeling terribly guilty about it.
Time for sleep.
If I go missing again, someone plan a trip to a certain client for me, with a t-ball bat (no sense using a real bat. We don’t want to cripple him), some rags, and some pins.
Seriously, as soon as I can breathe like a normal person and my hands stop feeling like all of my fingers are at least 3 fingers wide, I’ll probably post more. I really don’t want to get out of the habit.
