Today I was unprofessional. I work with freelancers frequently, sending them work when I’m too busy or they’d be better for the job. In an exchange with a new one, I jokingly said that I wasn’t sure what project to start him on because, if I was wrong about him, he might “screw it up” and then I’d have to do it over for nothing to repair my relationship with the client. I was attempting to lightly imply that of course he’s the amazing whizkid he’s telling me he is while still letting him know that I need to be careful. He didn’t get that, I guess. Instead, he let me know that he was offended.
In my own head, I have lots of things to say about that.
- “Oh please.”
- “I’m tired; I have the headache from hell; and my son has given me the martian death flu. Cut me some slack.”
- “I guess that was unprofessional. Huh.”
- “Do I really want to work with someone who got upset because I used the term ’screw it up’?”
- “How many other people have I offended with my casual style of communication?”
- “Are you upset because I used the term ’screw it up’ or because I implied that you’re not perfect?”
- “Dude.”
Right now my head hurts too much to be able to sort that all out and my chest is tight. I’m coughing up gunk. Coughing up gunk is a very bad sign for me.
It’s hard for me to figure this stuff out. Do I say, “gosh, sorry, I was having day 3 of bad pain for the month and wasn’t actually capable of coherent thought, much less to think through the fact that I don’t know you well enough to joke with you?
Do I ask peers and clients to make “reasonable accomodation” for me? Or do I suck it up and do the work I’m capable of doing/work with the people who automagically give me slack, and let the rest go on by and think what they will?
If I had been thinking clearly, I would have explained that I needed to know him and the quality and style of his work better before I determined the best way to use his skills and I wouldn’t have joked with him. One could even be forgiven for not believing that one of my clients uses me to write all of his fraught correspondence because I’m good at saying what needs to be said without offending anyone.
I guess I need to be sure I’m pain free the next day my client needs me to call one of his clients a deadbeat.
